Beginning at the beginning...
Here is what I know. I'm thoroughly trained in Weight Watchers nutritional living. I know the difference between right and wrong as far as food choices are concerned. I know I should eat wheat over white. I know that my family is prone to diabetes so it's best to choose the lower sugar and lower carb products. I know the appropriate serving size for meat is the size of a deck of cards and a tablespoon is the size of my thumb. I know that cardio is going to help even it all that out.
Here is what I don't know. Why can't I make myself exercise just 15 minutes a day? Why do I feel the need to eat an entire bag of pasta? Why can't I just eat 1/2 C of cottage cheese and not the whole thing? Why do I feel the need to binge on cookies? Why can't I slow down and taste my food and enjoy it? Why can't I make a weekly menu and just stick with it? Why do I make plans to exercise and then just make excuse after excuse after excuse? What is wrong with me?
I'm hoping that by journaling my daily attempts at weight loss and food control that it will help me answer some of those questions and find my path toward a healthier lifestyle...
If I think back to my childhood I only have positive memories... my parents were amazing, my sister was/is my best friend, we lived in a beautiful house and I never went without. I just wonder if there was something deep down that happened that makes my mind feel the need to eat uncontrollably sometimes or make excuses for everything. Maybe I just have absolutely no self control. Zero self esteem and I just have to completely rewrite my mind. I'm hoping that over the next few weeks writing this blog will help me to find my way. Because I trully am lost.
